Abused Military Wife Speaks Out

Fortunately, this military wife survived violent and brutal assaults by her husband. The military said they washed their hands of him and she was just left to deal with what he had become, what he was trained to do.

Heres a few kickers, not only are we seeing increases in homicides and near fatals perpetrated by military personnel...this fact is not always immediately disclosed. 

As well, we do not currently have a Lethality Assessment to better inform police, criminal justice and practitioners and one must be developed. Although no one can determine that a homicide will occur among intimates, an appropriate and specific Assessment for this group, will alert us to the factors or characteristics that indicate a homicide is probable or imminent. That information gives us the ability to take heightened actions necessary to better keep victims safe. It is dangerous for victims to inform us "later" that "Oh, by the way, he was deployed to Saudi Arabia, Iraq or Afghanistan"

As we inquire and interview victims and military personnel, we are learning a number of things (flaws) that are harmful to victims and the community. One for example is that if an individual (Military) is "Dishonorably Discharged" he is not eligible for certain benefits, such as adequate mental health care!! WTH!!

Those "Honorably Discharged" are asked a few questions and they are deemed ok and sent home.

How can the military be allowed to create a killing machine and wash their hands and pockets ($$) of him/her and set them loose back in the community!

OK! OK! If the discharge is dishonorable, don't pay for college, or a loan towards home ownership, but take responsibility for your role in creating these such individuals and treat them before you loose them back into families and communities that are ill equipped to deal with them. Some of these individuals are killing their wives and others around them,  annihilating their families and commiting suicide. The DoD cannot just wash their hands and negate the fact that these individuals were trained and they did serve!

Be informed. Below are some items I found in my search where we can educate ourselves:

Family violence in the military : a review of the literature.Rentz, E. Danielle. Martin, Sandra L. Gibbs, Deborah A. Clinton-Sherrod, Monique. Hardison, Jennifer. Marshall, Stephen W.
University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill
Journal Article
Copyright
Published: April 2006
Trauma, violence and abuse
Vol. 7, p. 93-108
Available from: Sage Publications

Domestic Violence & Military Personnel Returning Home: Deaths and Near Fatal Death Occurrances are taking surmounting toll on victims, families, communities and resources. Family violence, including both child maltreatment and spouse abuse, is a public health concern in both military and civilian populations. However, there is limited knowledge concerning violence in military families relative to civilian families. This literature review critically reviews studies that examine child maltreatment and spouse abuse among military families and compares family violence in military versus nonmilitary populations. Physical abuse and neglect compose the majority of the reported and substantiated cases of child maltreatment in military families, followed by sexual abuse and emotional abuse. On the other hand, physical abuse represents more than 90% of all substantiated cases of spouse abuse in military families, followed by emotional abuse, neglect, and sexual abuse.
 

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This is a snipet of a document my advocates will surely use!

Battered Women's Justice Project

INTIMATE PARTNER VIOLENCE (IPV) AND COMBAT EXPERIENCE

VICTIM ADVOCATE GUIDE

What is the relationship between the effects of war and IPV? Does having been in combat cause IPV? (Intimate Partner Violence)

There is no one answer to this question. While most returning military personnel have readjustment and stress issues, most do not become abusive to their partners and/or families. However:

• There are reports of increased violence upon return in some relationships with a history of controlling behavior and/or physical violence prior to deployment.

and

• There are reports of psychological and/or physical violence upon return from the war in some relationships with no history of violence prior to deployment,

Military members, including active duty military, Reserve, and National Guard personnel, learn combat skills and function in a battle mindset to survive in the combat zone, but this mindset and the accompanying combat skills may create problems when transitioning home. It can be difficult to change back to a "civilian" mindset upon returning home.

• Most people coming from war zones will have stress reactions and will need to readjust to being home. This can be especially intense during the first months. These common stress reactions are a normal part of readjustment. Anger, anxiety, fear, aggression, and/or withdrawal are common war-zone stress reactions. Even minor incidents can lead to over-reactions.

• Stress reactions and problems that last for months can affect relationships, work, and overall well-being, if not addressed. A person may be coping with stress by drinking, taking drugs, withdrawing, isolating, and/or he/she may be having sudden emotional outbursts.

• Many combat veterans who experience combat-related mental health problems (e.g., post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)) do not seek treatment either when they are active duty or when they become veterans.

What health/mental health issues are related to military experience in a combat zone? Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
Many of the common reactions to experience in the war are also symptoms of more serious problems such as PTSD. PTSD is a serious but treatable condition that can occur after experiencing a traumatic event(s) that involved death or injury to self or others.

Symptoms include:
* Experiencing intrusive, bad memories of a traumatic event.
* Avoiding things that might trigger memories of the traumatic event, such as crowded places, loud noises, etc. * Shutting down emotionally to prevent feeling pain, fear, or anger.
* Operating on "high-alert" at all times, having very short fuses, and/or startling easily.
* Experiencing sleep problems, irritability, anger, or fear.

• In PTSD, symptoms are much more intense and troubling and don’t go away. If these symptoms don’t decrease over a few months, they can cause problems in daily life and relationships. It can be difficult to be with someone with PTSD.

Another BWJP document that stands out is done by
Jane Sadusky, 2010

Collaborating for Safety: Coordinating the Military and Civilian Response to Domestic Violence – Elements and Tools

These documents are viewable at: www.bwjp.org

More is surely to come...